i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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