pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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