OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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