help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
