all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
