Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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