It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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