I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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