the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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