It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
