I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
