it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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