some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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