theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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