She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
