ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
