Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
