So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When did angry sex become our thing?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
