it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
