I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
