How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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