Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
