Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
PANTIES FOUND
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
