We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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