I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
