just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
