there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
