I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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