I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
