Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
