He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
