I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
