Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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