Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
