Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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