Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
