I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
