i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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