dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
