so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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