I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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