gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently the secret to your success is patron
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
