then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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