Where did you get a picture of my penis
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
