i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
