Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
