I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
