i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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