Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
