Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
