why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
