I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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