I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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