Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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