the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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