Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
do herpes really smell.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
3pm strippers are depressing
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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